State of the Eagles Address

Recently we asked to interview the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles, Jefferey Lurie. Unfortunately Mr. Lurie was unavailable at the time, but the team made coach Ditka available to us for an interview. This is what he had to say:

In my first full season as head coach of the philadelphia eagles I consider it a huge success. Whenever you go 13-3 in the regular season it's hard to find much to complain about. But that's what we here in philly do. We are not satisfied with this season. We had some great improvements, but the goal here will always be the superbowl. We came very close, and proved that we can hang with anyone this year, but now it's time to take the next step. Helping us take that next step will be our team mvp for this past season, Nick Foles. After struggling at quarterback for the past few years, we seem to have finally found our man. Foles had an outstanding year throwing for 3,557 yards with 41 touchdowns to just 12 ints. What's really surprising is that Foles also ran for 364 yards with 3 tds. Our defensive mvp for the season was the dynamic outside linebacker Zach Brown. He did it all, sacks, fumbles, picks, and made a huge difference in helping us have one of the top defenses in the league. Now looking forward we have had a few key losses so far this offseason, with key players such as Joseph Morgan, Jason Kelce, Junior Galette and Phillip Adams all leaving our team and hoping to hit it big in free agency. We have a few holes to fill for next year, but mostly we just need to add some depth in key areas. One thing I was not satisfied with last year was our turnovers forced. I plan on making a few changes, getting some bigger but still athletic guys on the defensive line, and trading one or both of our safeties and trying to get someone who doesn't have too be as fast or great in coverage but has better hitting power. Right now, other than a change at safety, our biggest goal is to find another speed receiver to replace the departing Morgan. He had a lot of big catches for us last season, and we will miss that production. Other than that next season, we hope, will be much like this one, except we need to make 1 or 2 plays more and a few less mistakes here and there, and with a little improvement we hope to find ourselves talking about the championship. All in all, the future is bright, and we see ourselves remaining a top 5 team next year.
That concludes our interview with the legendary Mike Ditka. He did want me to pass along to all of the other coaches and owners out there that he would like you to send him all of your best offers, whether you have picks in the first 2 rounds, or a hard hitting safety, or that speedy wideout. He's shocked that no one has made an offer for Tyvon Branch yet, probably the fastest safety in the league, as well as his dynamic trio of tight ends, all with game changing speed as well. We hope you enjoyed our review of this past season and the future outlook for philly, as with every review, it seems like a bunch of slogans and pep talk, but these guys were hit in the head a lot as players. So tune in next time, when we have our post-free agency trade block available.